My Ex Part 2 of 7643

This is so cathartic. I don't feel like bringing all this up with Joe, he is a good listener, but he just wants to find T and kick his ass. I forgot to mention last time, in addition to not being willing to stop at the urgent care, he used up my medicine because he was sick. And when we bought a new car, a nicer car, I never drove it. Anyway, bullets seem to be the most efficient way to do this.

• At the time we started dating I was very thin. I am 5'6" and at the time weighed 110. He would berate me for the food I was eating, telling me I was going to get fat if I didn't watch it.
• He would never do any house work. I would ask him to do dishes (the only thing I asked him to do) before leaving for class. When I would get home, the dishes would not be done. Sometimes he would fill the sink with water, but he never scraped the dishes so there would be chicken bones floating in the water. When I bitched about it he would point out that he had alphabetized the book case, or reorganized his backpack or some other entirely useless task.
• When we would argue he always said things would be better when we were out of school. College Town was the problem. When we moved to the Big City he would be happy, thus we could be happier. When we moved to Big City, we were sitting in our bedroom surrounded by boxes that my family was unloading from the truck and he informed me he hated Big City and wished we could go back to College Town. Also Big City was his idea. I finally realized he was just a person who never be happy. Ever
• My mom didn't tell me about this until after I left T. She would frequently offer to buy lunch or dinner for us, and T would go pick it up. However, he would never give her the change. She said she always dreaded handing him a 20 for taco bell because she would never see it again.
• His younger sister was very smart. She decided to major in the same field I was in. T and his mom had a long conversation in front of me about how she was too smart for that and it would be a waste of her intellect. Thanks, luckily I am dumb enough for it.
• During college we worked in retail. He worked in a department originally, then was moved to security. It was his job to catch shoplifters. Imagine my surprise when I found many items he had stolen from work. One day I found over $500 in playstation games he had stolen. We didn't even have a playstation. I asked him what the fuck he was thinking. He wanted to return them to various store around town to get the cash. He returned a few, but then was nervous he would get caught so he "made" me return some of them. Obviously he couldn't make me, he just kept bitching and complaining about how we needed the money and how dumb I was being and just wore me down. Giving in on this is one of my huge regrets.

Seeing all of this written out is really horrifying. Also funny, because it sounds so unreal, who could be such an asshole? Who would marry him? Meeeee.

My Ex Part 1 of 7643

Before I met the wonderful Joe I had been married and divorced. I know, scaaaandalous. I have some friends going through a divorce right now and it is bringing up a lot of stuff for me.

When I first met the ex (we'll call him T) I really hated him, and thought he was an ass. We worked together so we had fairly regular contact, and we hung out in some of the same circles. I knew he liked me but I wasn't interested. We started hanging out as friends and I started thinking I had misjudged him. One thing lead to another and eventually we were dating. A few things pushed all of this along, my best friend had been married for 4 years, and I just found out that my last boyfriend of 3 years had gotten married. I was feeling like I would never find anyone. (I was 23 and a bit stupid) Anyway we got married just a bit more than a year after we started dating.

I do remember during the ceremony wondering how much my family would hate me if I turned and ran away. Not a good sign. Funny thing, I mentioned this to my mom the other day, and she told me how much they all hated him at the reception. T wouldn't dance with me, other than the traditional dance, but he did dance with a whole group of his female friends. So that was a good start.

So much of what split us up seemed like little stuff, when I tried to explain why I was leaving him it seemed so petty. But most of it was a sign of a much larger problem, he was just a self-centered person. For example

• He would come to bed hours after me and turn on the light to read. Even though I had been sound asleep.
• A new job required me to go to an activity in a very bad part of town. Everyone told me to bring T with me. He didn't want to go, because he needed to take a nap before picking a friend up at the airport later.
• I had been sick for a while and couldn't shake what turned out to be bronchitis. We were out to eat, and I wanted to stop at the urgent care so I could get a prescription so I could maybe finally sleep. I wanted to go after dinner because they closed early, he wanted me to drop him off at home first so he could watch TV. He said I could always go the next day, if they were closed when I came back.
• At another time I was sick I really needed to catch up on sleep, so I asked him not to wake me in the morning. He woke me up at 6:30 to ask if I wanted eggs for breakfast. When I got pissy, he was all "hurt" because he was trying to do something "nice".
• During college we had just one car. But when we moved to the Big City we needed a second car. We got in a huge fight about the new car. I was raised that the wife drives the newer more reliable car. He wouldn't hear of it. I was told that he was driving the newer, nicer car, or we would get a clunker and I would drive that. My dad, an alchoholic abusive son of a bitch, made sure my mom drove the more reliable car.

I am already pissed off again. These probably seem like little things. In the next episode I will get to some bigger stuff.

Why Am I Here?

I have a fairly anonymous blog already, my husband knows about it, but I don't think he will read it. However, I used the real names of people and through some quick googling found my blog. So mostly this will be a place to write things I don't want being tracked back to me. I can also let my bitchier side out if I need to, without worrying about offending.